Zombeautiful

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By the end of the week I feel this way at times. I know many parents that do what they do and end up a beautiful zombie. The physically, mentally draining tasks of being an adult and parent also pushes away the veil of the ego. Presence is seen and felt in exauhsted moms. They have a certain glow and draw. Their colors are reflecting and shining through. They might look tired, but they are more present than most. I'm grateful for my wife and how her light shines bright through it all.

bitter orange

Bitter Orang / 2015 Sabet

Bitter Orang / 2015 Sabet

oh man, there are times when an image shows up unexpected. So unexpected that I'm at a loss for words when I see it. If it's here to impact me, it has done so. A reflection of inner pain, shame or anxiety - bitter orange is an image like non other I've painted/drawn.  I love that she's shown up but I also have to question the reason she's here. 

But then, I know why she's here. She's a wake up call, a reflection of unconscious suffering that only stops with present momen awareness. She's a representation of insanity unchecked. Pay attention to her and wake up. Pay attention and see the truth. Just pay attention and you're awake. 

Fears & Shears

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Everyone has a story. Some are compelling, others tragic and yet some are just absolutely inspiring. My story isn't just one. I have thousands of stories on many different timelines. Up until recently I believed in my stories as my reality. But it only takes a moment of awakening to realize that your stories are fictional shadows of the truth. A one sided self created fallacy. The truth is in the silence. I find myself verbalizing my stories as a way of finding a way to disprove myself-and yet the stories get stronger through the repitition. 

Today i observe the stories for awhile and let them pass through before verbalizing them. Verbalizing the stories only gives them life only to be dissipated by a moment of awakening. When you verbalize a story you create suffering for you and others. Even a good story can have an adverse effect - today I choose to be quite more often. I do my best to choose what comes out of my mouth carefully. It's typical for me to slip but the awareness of the slip up is enough.  

The relation of this to what I draw isn't an obvious one or maybe it is. Buts that's what I'm here to say for now.