I'm not afraid of trying new things - well at least with my work. Sometimes the results are wonderful, raw and unexpected. Other times they just plain suck. I do it anyway. I share it anyway. Because it's through your eyes that I experience myself.
Bloom Expressions
Self expression can be scary. Fear of judgment. Fear of offending others. Fear of hurting or even drawing out an unwanted reaction. I have to think about it all when I'm sharing an image. Most often it's a non-issue. People are ok with happy and classically attractive illustrations and paintings- but what if something that might come across as vulgar or ugly (for a lack of a better word) - what then. Do I censor myself? Yes? No? - it's always a battle between the righteous ego and the infinite intelligence of present moment awareness. In this case the ego might have won, but this might be an image that'll wake another out of their identification with ego. No right and wrong, I guess. I share this with love for what I do. It represents an outside explosion of imploding thoughts and feelings. What are your thoughts? I'm open to other views and feelings.
Sometimes
There are times that I feel like this. As if anything I do isn't the right thing. Feeling like you've been beaten up and at the same time you're at fault for it. This translates to a view of self that's much less attractive then the truth, yet it can be beautiful.
A new year, a grateful year
I'm grateful for 2014 - it was amazing at times and there were times that were truly painful. But growth was inevitable. I'm expecting good and not so good this year as well, but I'm going to make an effort to be conscious of my actions in every moment and when situations arise. I've realized that it's work to act a certain way. Unconscious actions result in unconscious results. Today I see that.
Change the world
Every morning I wake up and while taking a shower a fleeting thought passes through my mind; "Today I'm gonna change the world" - most often the thought just passes through, other times it sticks. "But how? I'm not big enough, rich enough, powerful enough... How can I change the world?!l"
These days I don't worry about HOW anymore. I have realized that I'm enough (sometimes I forget that fact too!) - but just being and doing what I do the best way I know how changes the world. I might not see the impact I make right away, but that's ok. That impact is seen in my kids, my friends and loved ones. And the impact they make on the world will change the world and on and on... That's enough. That's perfect. In turn they all impact me. And there's the realization that we are all one organism. We are all the same. You can be on your own and create something for yourself and no one ever sees it and you've impacted the world. Because you are the world.
